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me: have I told you about my theory that heaven is exclusively populated by great apes because they were also made in god's image but were not born with original sin?

a cop: we meant a statement about all the crimes you committed

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this is both 1. an excuse to post this pic and 2. true ape wisdom

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the sooner you get wet the sooner you can start drying off

my brother has an interview today please send him good vibes only

the sooner you get wet the sooner you can start drying off

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this guy keeps appearing in my dreams and telling me he's my dad

the thing about lee pace is that he's very handsome

banned from the Boston Marathon due to roller skates

scandal: someone ate all the stalactites out of America's most diseased cave

this guy keeps appearing in my dreams and telling me he's my dad

a Pikmin movie directed by Henry Selick

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god ate himself in a sewer tonight

I'm following someone on Twitter who is getting really into fanfiction of adult Richie and Eddie from It Chapter 2 being boyfriends and actors on an in-universe tv show based on Bill's book and costarring Beverly

it's very specific

shoutout to my dog for chewing his rawhide treats into perfect replica Roman caltrops, my cavalry are completely disabled

you have reached the woodland sage, what will you ask

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A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.