geet (goblin geet) @geet@goblin.camp

i was initially gonna go deeper into like, friendship as a concept, but instead it turned into me complaining about moving a lot and having been homeschooled since kindergarten

this thread has gone so far off what i was initially planning, and thats ok. sometimes things can be different from what they were supposed to be

like, i remember when i was 14 there was someone that i had a crush on but didnt want to date because i knew i was moving in a few weeks and i didnt want to try and make a long distance relationship work. after that, because of moving and getting kicked out of homeschool groups, i havent even really known anyone long enough for me to have a crush on them

part of me also wonders how much the combination of being homeschooled and moving all the time has had on me with trying to date people

most people at that age already are shitty, but on top of that all the moms just stay at home and stir shit up in the facebook groups and then next thing you know there's been a split in the group and now you cant see half of the people you used to hang out with

and im sure being homeschooled probably had a part in that too. god, in some places if youre homeschooled then good luck finding anyone your age that you can stand being around

like, idk to me it feels like i always have a voice in my head saying "ok, you can be friends with this person, but know that after a year, you probably will never talk to this person again."

and part of me wonders how much of an effect moving a lot (i'd say probably an average of every year and a half) has had on it being really hard for me to make friends

it feels incredibly hard to form connections with people beyond a surface level "i know them and they arent rude to me." and like, i dont think i would consider that friendship. but if thats not friendship, then how often have i simply had no friends?

lately ive been thinking a lot abt the idea of friendship