my biggest flex is that i've never ever been on 4chan

the gateway experiece diary 

update: i finished wave 1, and i started wabe 2 today. focus 12 feels like deeper focus 10, but i'm lighter and can somewhat see things that i imagine? it feels a lot like the first time being in f10. maybe i accidentally went too deep and landed in f12 that time? who knows

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ngl my favorite skill acquired from the gateway experience is being able to fall asleep simply by slowly counting from 1 to 20

i just realized that nicki minaj is a milf

i hate it when a blank profile taps me on grindr. tf am i supposed be attracted to?

ok so the covers are already more cringy than i remember, and i'm pretty sure it's only gonna get worse from now on

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i want to revisit my favorite series of books from when i was a kid/teenager, but i'm scared it will destroy all my memories of it :/

i can't force genshin impact to work on my pc :/

i feel a strong urge to play a visual novel

the gateway experiece diary 

i failed at the exercise again. i suppose i have to get deeper into focus 10 than usually. the part about "turning slowly like a log" is really hard for me. i'm going to practice it as long as i have to tho.

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the gateway experiece diary 

i had an unexpected experience while doing the exercise though, i'm not sure if it was just my eyes slightly opening or what but i could kinda see my room? and i felt almost the same as that time when i almost astral projected and met some entity (before i discovered the tapes)

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the gateway experiece diary 

they can't seriously expect me to fall asleep on my back for the first time in over a decade

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jakub boosted

It's finally done!! My virtual art gallery created in the Doom engine contains 25 original collages for your viewing pleasure. Shoot demons and admire my work at the same time in this fully playable level! WAD file and instructions for download can be found on my webbed site aaronsweb.space/Doom-gallery.h Enjoy! :beholder:

the gateway experiece diary 

i listened to the next tape, and midway through i broke my focus and wasn't able to finish the exercise completely although i got really close. i will try again tomorrow, with different earpods (airpods aren't ideal for some reason) and in a different position

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the gateway experiece diary 

maybe i got the date wrong? or maybe it wasn't a well known event. i don't know

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the gateway experiece diary 

Great news! I listened to the release and recharge tape and everything went well. I got into focus 10 smoothly and did the exercise. my fears, emotions, and memories were pretty abstract and i don't really understand how they correlate to each other, but that's what i saw and felt so i guess that's how it was supposed to be. after the exercise i saw a date in my mind that said something like 25 june 1959 but nothing special happened on that day

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i decided to try limiting my social media usage again by setting a time limit on my phone and securing it with a randomly generated password that i won't remember (but still have access to)

the gateway experiece diary 

good news! i was able to peacefully go through the second recording, get into focus 10 and stay there a while. i even felt that boundless sensation again. my mind keeps wandering to different places when i'm medidating which i don't think is a bad thing. i let it wander around and then i gently focus back on the task. i think i will try reaching focus 10 by myself again today before going to sleep, and if everything goes well i will continue with the 4th tape tomorrow

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