fuck cars 2k19 @jiqqules@goblin.camp

ejected from the vatican for kissing the pope's ring with tongue

Thinking about getting one of those little dick cages. Not like as a sex thing, just to keep it from running away

my girlfriend has a history of self harm and recently relapsed after 2 years of managing to abstain from it. i love her terribly and want to be a good, helpful and supportive partner for her but I've no idea how, and i don't want to her to have to rely on me to be a stable and happy person. i don't know what to do with myself!! how can i help her!! if anyone has any advice, or resources or anything im all ears.

@matt

@Pixley Hoisted by thy own petard

Homestuck walked so Undertale could run.

i only just learned about this and i'm shocked this didn't get more coverage when it happened earlier this summer

i found this old educational film reel and it's absolutely REMARKABLE how applicable it still is today.

really makes ya think.

@snakeboy

kanye is the morrissey of rap

Baked some carrot cake/oatmeal sandwich cookies w/cream cheese frosting. (Cc @Louisa )

what i love about karl marx is that his later work took such a different direction

wwhy shrek is piss #italiano

“Hey Doc, feeling kinda sad”

Doctor, in a low growl, “Do you long to feel the loam of the forest on your footpads?”

“yes”

Doctor, baring teeth “Do you crave the camaraderie that can only come from stalking prey as a pack?”

“YES”

“Then ask your Doctor if Lycanthropy™️ is right for you”

“You are my doctor”

“Lycanthropy™️ is right for you”

I shouldn't be held responsible for anything I've done in the past. People grow and change, I'm a different person now than I was 10 minutes ago when I sold those cigarettes to your 13 year old niece

Ah, ears, the legs of the nose.

you come in to this establishment on your skateboard, you olly onto the customer service desk, you olly over our great selection of products – and yet you still expect to take advantage of our year-round low prices? typical skater entitlement.