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Hello, my name is Colin. I used to go by kalonZombie for a long time so I still put that in my handles but you can just call me by my real name.

I run an actual-play podcast at, and soon I will be getting a 13th Age game up where I actually do play as a Goblin. Her name is Chonnie and she accidentally burned most of a magic school down one time!

I also stream at

Please be gentle.

it's my birthday, give me some boosts!

I'm swapping over from Chrome to Firefox and let me tell you trying to remember which one of five emails I use to log onto this website was A Tripβ„’.

Horny, Monsterfucker, Funny 

Andalites: Who would ever want to fuck a Hork-Bajir?
Me: ahaha i know right who [Quickly tries to hide my computer file named Big Honkin' Hork-Bajir Dongs]

Alfred: Woy dew we fawl Mastuh Bruce?...Eye dont undastand. Bruce wot's gravity? Sounds preposterous. Bruce woy can't we juss float around? Birds got the roit idea, don't dey?

Why did nobody tell me the werewolf in Van Helsing was hot?

You know for being cancelled JK Rowling sure won't shut the fuck up.

Putting a content warning on my VtM campaign episodes is...

Cheerleader - Toreador
So-and-So - Caitiff
Whats-Her-Face - Malkavian
The Ugly One - Nosferatu

Of all the club music in VtM: Bloodlines, the Anarch's bar's music is the most hilarious to me, because it's objectively the worst, and most ill-fitting song in the game.

you can take the goblin outta the trash, but you cant take the trash outta the goblin

It's bi visibility day, which means I'm no longer invisible, so I can't commit any crimes or the FBI will finally catch me.

The fucked up thing is nobody knows if this is a lie or not.

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I have some pretty good NPCs planned for a game of Vampire the Masquerade, but I think my favorite is Malkavia Prime, the Primogen for the Malkavians in Chicago. They claim they were never human and instead formed from cursed swamp mud mixed with their sire's vitae, and also claim to be mentally connected to every Malkavian that's been made after them.


fuck me for having meaningful consensual relationships with multiple people at once am i right

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haha just remembered when someone i considered a good friend pulled old gay scare tactics on me for being polyamarous and now i want to crawl back into bed and nap for 10 thousand eons

I don't know what a vtuber is and at this point I'm afraid to ask.

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A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.