Pinned toot

Hello, my name is Colin. I used to go by kalonZombie for a long time so I still put that in my handles but you can just call me by my real name.

I run an actual-play podcast at, and soon I will be getting a 13th Age game up where I actually do play as a Goblin. Her name is Chonnie and she accidentally burned most of a magic school down one time!

I also stream at

Please be gentle.

Context: Telling @greatjoe about the horrible new NPC I created for the campaign I'm running.

I know my podcast hasn't "made it" yet because fucking ExpressVPN and Raid haven't come to me for advertising opportunities.

The Doomslayer was way too angry to kill, the best they could do is lock him into a coffin and hope nobody was stupid enough to open it back up.

Show thread

I love that in Doom canon that the demons think they are an unstoppable force of unknowable numbers and think themselves invincible up until the point where the Doomslayer comes on the scene, then every single solitary one within a 1,000 mile radius loses their absolute shit and runs for their life.

I did some data mining and I found out the REAL names of the Doom and Doom 2 enemies in the code.

The two new Doom games, Eternal especially, seem to be as if someone over at Id played Brutal Doom and went "Yeah, okay, we can do this."

No pharmacist is in the pharmacy to let me in. April Fool's!

Show thread

As a funny April Fool's prank I have to go into work early.

*Failed bard turned sorcerer
*Look she didn't fail because she wasn't good enough she failed because her sorcerer powers activated while giving her final and she accidentally burned a third of the school down, alright? Get off her back
*Very good at playing violin
*Extremely gay
*Extremely cute
*Kinda sounds like Marge Simpson

Show thread

soft selfie, boosts+ πŸ’– 

My little goblin lady is extremely gay and is currently dating a big orc lady and she is very happy.

It's the reason why Gary's sister and Ash's mom had huge honkin' tiddies.

Show thread

Hey remember when a hentai artist drew the Pokemon manga?

Chonnie and Vola, sorcerer and cleric, magic power couple, hell yeah.

Show thread

Tonight in my 13th Age game: My goblin lady got lucky with an orc lady.

Open a door and theres like 40 imps with their back to you and a rocket launcher and it's like "Someone was jealous they didnt think of 10,000 Revenants on One Map arent they?

Show thread
Show more
π”Šπ”¬π”Ÿπ”©π”¦π”« β„­π”žπ”ͺ𝔭

A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.