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banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

why does the Chad Noble get to live in the inner castle while us serfs are stuck out here toiling in the fields? why does Lady Veronica always go for the asshole knights who will just treat them badly? us serfs have developed superior dexterity from working with our hands all day, which means better stamina and performance in bed. we really do live in a freaking monarchy, peasants rise up

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

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My shirt from Dandy's store came in ( @popstar )! It's comfy and cute and I love it.
(Food, eye contact)

If you think about it, baseball is nothing but some friends trying to play catch but there's an asshole with a bat in the way

bot post 

I'm about to do a barrel roll hehe thanks :blobcatmelt:

Blew up the pool this afternoon for the kids. I’m gonna miss it, but they liked the boom

just guessin here but i wouldn't be surprised lol

One thing Masto helped me realize is that it's a "nightmare."

open world game designers: you can go anywhere and do anything
me: ok can i enjoy a properly paced narrative?
designer: *sweating visibly*

looking out at the vast federated timeline, it is unscathed, unadulterated, and unending. i have every single user blocked, every word muted. i begin to weep for i am finally at peace.

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A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.