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they call me Rodent Lord, Rat King, The Angel of Cheese. far and wide they speak my names: Filth Monger, The Scurrier, Nibbler of Crumbs. their ancestors will write my names in their histories: CrustCruncher, Stench Lurker, and He Whomst Nasty As Hell. By all these names I am called, and all these names shall be feared forevermore

Pinned toot

banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

Pinned toot

going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

Gob :goblin: boosted
Gob :goblin: boosted

@em the secret doctors donโ€™t want you to know: their home address and the code to the alarm system

Gob :goblin: boosted

doctors hate her: this lady beat up 500 doctors

Gob :goblin: boosted

im at the wheel of a boat. i say "hey! don't make me turn this car around!". there's silence. someone speaks up "we're on a boat". more silence. i say "i know". this is my life

Gob :goblin: boosted

selfie 

Gob :goblin: boosted

you: mackenzie what would you say has most influenced your intellectual and philosophical thought
me:

Gob :goblin: boosted

if orcas are killer whales we are genocide apes

Gob :goblin: boosted
Gob :goblin: boosted

sincere 

just shidt in someone else's house

Gob :goblin: boosted
Gob :goblin: boosted

I'd like to add you to my polycule network on LinkedIn

Gob :goblin: boosted

yes, i have thoughts about things

yes, I post about my dick and balls ad naseum

its called a personality sweetie

Gob :goblin: boosted
Gob :goblin: boosted
Gob :goblin: boosted

The tactical Christmas stocking is the funniest thing I've seen in my goddamn life

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A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to lurk and cause mischief.