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banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

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people keep asking me about my crust bucket, and i tell them the same thing every time: it's the bucket where i keep my crust, obviously

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going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

In gaming, HP means Harry Potter. The goal is to reduce your Harry Potter level to 0% before your opponent.



Evelyn preparing to drop her album of traditional folk tunes

If you hit an obstacle with your shopping cart all your groceries should fall out like Sonic rings and other shoppers should be allowed to claim them.

*whispers* you know they make the "gender of the day" out of the leftover gender they couldn't sell yesterday

@pizza fantastic. do you want me to fight for you in a poorly armed and trained militia as well? I'll do it

yeah actually wallowing in pig swill is fun and relaxing, i fell in here on purpose

hot and sexy serfs in your area, working your land

@pizza @007 im a strong smooth horse supporter myself, im just boosting both sides of the argument

sitting in the back of the hoard and i’m not learning shit. does anybody got some gum

the good news: after the local lord's tax collector stopped by me and the rest of the peasants kicked the shit out of him in the street and got all our gold back.
the bad news: our lord is probably gonna get pissed and send his knights to kill us but eh, what are you gonna do

selfie of me, (no ec, boost me u fiends) 

the grinch taking heart viagra whenever he needs to feel something

ok you can barely tell in my avi but pizza goblin is now officially in the league of queer villains

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A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to lurk and cause mischief.