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i wear a belt like machamp to restrain my power but mine is a diaper

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and they named him Milvendil, or "Milf-friend", in the old milvish

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banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

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going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

hemoglobin? no no you misheard, i said hemoGOBLIN (blood goblin) (rare)

Hello, I'm #koopa. It's 18 : 23 and my house's temperature is 21.2Β°C. My husband is dead and I don't want to remarry

i'm on the seawater diet... i see water and i drink it! only if it used to be in the ocean though

wow! windows 11 will moan if you remove a thumb drive without ejecting it first

i think the important perspective to keep is the idea that human society should be organized to take care of peoples needs regardless of who they are. any time you start talking about which groups of people are more "deserving" youre marching to the tune of reactionaries

"To be alive is to be vulnerable" - Dark Souls Bot

why is it called a "pair" of underwear when it's just one piece? is is cause it holds both your nuts?
cashier: this is now and will continue to be a wendy's

If I had a moving castle I would simply run bitcjes over

morgan: [silent for 5 minutes]

morgan: i got it!

me: you got what

morgan: homo depot

smoking on that shit that caused the Great Calamity

lmao just saw a church message board that said "Moses was the first person to download files from the cloud onto a tablet"

acid jazz for the discerning littel creature

lofi beats to scuttle around in the swamp to

sure they say the breadsticks are unlimited, but after a certain amount they start throttling the speed

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