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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

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what if I just fell asleep right here. what if I turned into a tree and nobody noticed. what if I watched the world go by and everyone kept living and loving without me.

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

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people keep asking me about my crust bucket, and i tell them the same thing every time: it's the bucket where i keep my crust, obviously

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going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

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@healyn grandchild: what was it like in the korean war, why were you in it?
grandfather, thinking deeply about how the actual reasons for the war he was in are indiscernible to him as it was basically a pissing contest: to keep us all safe

sometimes you just have to let go of unrealistic standards for your body (not having dirt under your fingernails 24/7)

my late grandfather served in the Korean War and i still have no idea what it was. i now know more about Cats than i know about the Korean War

i failed on my first dream of becoming the first professional baseball player with terminal ibs so i'm achieving my 2nd closest dream: having the worst brain alive

how does the market place of ideas make any money, they're just giving away speech

when i make a post complaining about how awful dark souls 2 is and then start a new character three days later

no yeah I spilled that coffee on myself on purpose. wakes me up faster that way

can't believe i was charged a $25 copay to read this sign. :blobnotlike:

how much milk you think you could get out of Taylor Swift cat

furries are straight up about the truly bizarre fetishes they have, theater kids love to hide their sick desires behind putting on a local production of a rejected andrew lloyd webber musical about watches or whatever

ableist language musings, kinda personal? 

peter jackson's approach to soundtracks is simple. if there's a hobbit on screen, the hobbit music plays. if it's goblins, the goblin music plays. there are 795 different leitmotifs in this film series

There is a decent chance that The Simpsons will outlast the United States

@j997922

Jer: so that ted kaczynski beard? talk about unkempt!

Homemade Bomb Making Admin: We've defederated from any instance hosting Jeremiah. Many users have claimed they no longer feel comfortable around him

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A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to lurk and cause mischief.