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turning on the amazon alexa and leaving the room when grandpa starts to talk about the korean war. i don't know if he thinks it's me responding or he just doesn't care

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banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

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Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

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dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

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weed 

I'll probably get run off of this site for saying this but somebody needs to take a stand: shants are better than jorts

i am incapable of caring about the legal environment of business

πŸŽΆβ€‹ gonna roll up some oui'd πŸŽΆβ€‹

completely getting naked to take a shit in the workplace bathroom

All right, does anyone here *not* contain multitudes?

songs just happen to you and its good for a while

Carting out of midnight boosts, words like forgotten limbs dangling out the sides and ends then dumping them all on top of you

@pizza urgent recall on all goblinmobiles. the lethal electric shock prod is malfunctioning and may not eliminate you for your bad driving.

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π”Šπ”¬π”Ÿπ”©π”¦π”« β„­π”žπ”ͺ𝔭

A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to lurk and cause mischief.