Pinned toot
Pinned toot

banned from my local pro shitting league for using performance-enhancing drugs

Pinned toot

Medieval Chad/Virgin shitpost 

Pinned toot

dude i don't give a flying fuck. i don't give a running shit. i don't give a rolling piss

Pinned toot

going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

I don't know if this is because I've been online for too long but sometimes I make up a bad take no one has said and then get disproportionately mad about it.

gonna bonk myself in the head with a big cartoonish plastic hammer

like to lock eyes with the trainer on route 12 because of the implication

Show thread

"Go ahead and just tell me your thoughts about reality, and I'll go ahead and hit the buzzer when I disagree, okay?"
"Well, okay. Reality is--"
*The buzzer sounds*

selfies, alc, boosts ok 

what's it like being the kind of funny that doesn't make people yell at you


i don't like this beer. delete and redraught

damn it really just made people think that we have the spirit of my mouth, but as a fleshlight

cop: i repeat, this is a tasty Sub Way submarine sandwich

you: *makes any claim about the nature of reality*

me, a philosopher:

Show more
𝔊𝔬𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔫 ℭ𝔞𝔪𝔭

A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.