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everyone's all like "c'est la vie" and i'm all like "c'est some english words" lmao

lewd / bad 

Blasting a fart so hot it could melt steel beams in memoriam

Celebrating 9/11 by shitting two big shits and then shitting small shits with such extreme force that they destroy the big ones

in honor of 9/11 i will be performing a historical re-enactment by selling arms to Mujahideen in Afghanistan for a quarter century, unwittingly helping to plant the seeds of radical sectarian violence. check it out on my twitch

u gotta crack a few eggs if u wanna make billions of dollars off the military industrial complex

9/11 story 

i should get paid to stay home and pet my cat, imo

man goes to doctor. says i'm depressed. doctor says, log on to r/upliftingnews and read about an animal being released from captivity. man leaves doctor. goes on website and reads about animal freedom. man smiles to self. man then tabs over and cranks one out. man goes to sleep. doctor cranks one out. doctor goes to sleep. animal dies because it is ill equipped to survive outside captivity.

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π”Šπ”¬π”Ÿπ”©π”¦π”« β„­π”žπ”ͺ𝔭

A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.