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finally got a reply guy that responded honestly to what I thought was an obvious joke. couldn't even siddon him just because it was so sincere

mh, ed 

@pizza
It's embarrassingly similar to a family euphemism for passing gas, yes, so I tend to talk about "posting a status" instead because I find that aesthetic unpalatable.

browsing the federated timeline be like 

Pros of consciousness: I can create art

Cons of consciousness: I have to convince my brain that it’s good to eat vegetables

my highest pic ever taken 

I know who assman was but I won’t reveal his true identity because that’s exactly what my political opponents would want me to do.

delete my account? bud im making 5 more as we speak

@pizza pronouns unclear, only option is to refer to people as "hey dipshit"

come on baboon looking ass. own me. i can take it. do it.

i swing open a gate, dash out onto the ice rink ,and immediately eat shit so hard that it sends my Heely'sβ„’ flying into the stands

i chime in with a
"haven't you people ever heard of
muting the god damn phrase"

no one has dared combine "womp womp" and "death to america" in one post.. until now

lewd pins 

Error! 

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π”Šπ”¬π”Ÿπ”©π”¦π”« β„­π”žπ”ͺ𝔭

A sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to lurk and cause mischief.