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i am the lorax
i speak for the trees
the chronic
that lound

im doing the tom cruise run after the ice cream truck

"Master" Shredder? of the "Foot" clan, huh? 🤨

We used to have Aaron Beer, Mary Agnes Corns, and Thomas Walker Bridges. Now we have no beer, no corns, and no bridges!

I see this one has been getting boosted. Guessing some people assume I was swallowed by a sinkhole recently. Fat chance, haters!

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assembling a team to seize the unity game engine, fix it, open the source, establish a coalition for robust community management, and change its name to leftist unity

why do they call it coffee when you of in the cup of out coffee eat the cup

(within earshot of my catholic relatives) yeah my new tattoo is actually a badge of honor, it means I deepthroated satans cock all the way down to the base. and the little droplet means I swallowed his whole load without spilling a drop

areola, watereola, fireola, eartheola

sweat
sweat
now it's all wet
these are the things that
I've come to regret
oh no

selfie ec 

your fave fears the old blood or whatever i havent been paying much attention

usians talking about the war in ukraine: every russian is personally responsible and cheering this on. we should nuke the country into rubble

usians when you remind them of the war in iraq: listen that was just… unfortunate

work + 

uhhh I got the promotion! and a raise! hopefully this means I can afford to move soon and also get a car lol. I'll probably still bike to work on nice days but I really don't have the means to go long distances so this'll be a game changer. Lfg

#ShineBabyGo Update: Meet Vivian! 

7lbs 4oz, 20.5”, born at 1:58pm CST :)

I let my body do most of the work and the doctor had to RUN in and throw his gloves on like lightning lol! 2 crappy pushes and 1 good one later, I got her out and she’s so super lively and alert! Can’t get good pics til later but! We did it folks!

other contributors:
silly little hats
bombs
snacks, morsels, tidbits
bawdy poems
Davey (negligible)

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Q4 GDP (goblin domestic product) predicted to be highest on record. the main contributor? increased chill production

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A posting sanctuary for creatures of all kinds to scurry about.