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i am here to make friends and kick over the milk pail and you all have gotten pretty good at hiding the milk pail

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the ladies love it when i do my little japes and jests. they go absolutely wild for my magic tricks, juggling, riddles, etc.

there are many objects here 

$ - 69 dollars (nice)
a - a very rusty longsword named Dingus Blade
b - a dart
c - 21 darts
d - a +0 pair of jorts
e - a burnt coarse mantlet
f - a pair of sandals
g - a partially eaten human corpse
h - a sprig of cannabis

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things that are here 

$ - a crumpled five dollar bill
a - a gnome corpse
b - a scroll labelled MORBIUS
c - 37 rocks

random encounter 

a goose (ornery)

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they call it honking off because if you don't honk like a goose when you do it how'll you frighten the goblins off

wizards are constantly burying their semen-filled eggshells in manure to try to hatch little men because they are Disrespectful and no self-respecting little men will associate with them

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Yanking on my dick like I'm trying to start a lawnmower, causing my asscheeks to sputter and then start clapping at 3500 cpm (claps per minute)

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Every time we do a crossword I get excited when the answer for a clue could potentially be "ORB". It's almost never "ORB" but it's happened before

you, when you realize i've used my status as a fool not to be taken seriously to critique the social order you are favored by 


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man goes in to the doctor, says he's depressed, says the world seems vast and unfriendly. doctor says treatment is simple, hold this small wooden orb. man still has problems, but small wooden orb brings him some measure of peace.

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going goblin mode at the dinner table (eating all the potatoes)

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black keys lyrics 





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plunging my fingers, then my hands, then my arms and finally my whole torso into the damp earth and taking root

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whacking the earth with my dick and balls so furiously that i explode into thousands of pieces and blow away on the wind

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lying under a log in the water of a cold stream for hours, waiting for someone to try to tickle a trout so i can pull them under

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lying beneath the surface of the bog, allowing the water to diffuse across my mucosal membranes and acidify all the humors of my body

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walk without rhythm
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𝔊𝔬𝔟𝔩𝔦𝔫 ℭ𝔞𝔪𝔭

A posting sanctuary for creatures of all kinds to scurry about.