Pinned toot
Pinned toot

i am here to make friends and kick over the milk pail and you all have gotten pretty good at hiding the milk pail

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being a goblin means never needing to apologize for asking to borrow your friends specialty eyeballs

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ever spend several weeks helping a hapless youth with their chores and then have them forget to set aside a bit of honeycomb and pair of old shoes? i hope that bastard likes his Mystery Rash

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convening a jazz band of gremlins and ghouls to the local wetlands so that we can perform some...bog standards

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why are birds beautiful?

the conventional explanations leave much to be desired. if it were simply to Fuck there would be no need to become as beautiful as they are.

the true explanation can only be that being beautiful brings them joy.

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every morning they rub their eyes and say, eys! do not see!

they yawn and say, ears! do not hear!

they anoint and say, nostrils! do not smell!

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there are holes in the reality of a vigilant person you could drive a bus through if they're not looking for a bus

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cavorting through the overlapping gaps in consensual reality, flickering on the boundaries of perception and sticking my tongue out at anyone who looks up from the hustle and bustle

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if you find out my true name, or my friends' true names, and go around telling people so that they can get out of deals with us or make us their servants: fuck you

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simply sitting down on the couch and causing so much stress to my trousers that the ass bursts assunder

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roaming over hill and dale

wandering the lonely moors

until at last i find what i have scented

a pie left on the sill to cool

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going goblin mode (curling up into a ball and pretending to be a lumpy piece of fruit in a merchant's basket)

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going absolutely apeshit in my lord's wheat fields

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challenging strangers at the crossroads to games of nine men's morris and stealing their dick and balls why they consider their moves carefully

challenging the psychopomp to a game of chess for their soul, it's a win win if you lose you get to rest from the mortal coil and if you win you get a steady job

honking of, or, as the scholars term it, the goblin's gambit

when you're not tired enough to sleep, hungry enough to eat, or horny enough to honk off? that's goblins

when you're vibrating with nervous energy you can neither understand or control? that's goblins

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