Pinned toot

you ran around in that cave for so long, looking for me. you stuck around in the shittiest little town in Hoenn, for me. you wasted so many precious resources fighting Aron, for me, and throwing PokΓ©balls, at me. and when you finally caught me, you named me Shinji because I would not get into the fuckign PokΓ©ball, even though Shinji Ikari was if anything overeager to get in the fuckign robot.

yeah. I know I'm that goblin

Me: ow the sun reflecting off my windshield hurts my eyes
Also me: it's pretty and I won't stop looking at it

it's an abstract, goblinesque kind of food post 

I have extra gems if you would like to share a midnight snack. or you could keep them, doesn't matter to me either way I don't know your dietary restrictions @Gobophilly

the Monster manual: [nearly inaudible] kobolds are evil, sneaky, cowardly weaklings that β€”
me: [powerfully projecting my voice straight from the diaphragm and easily drowning that weak shit out] kobolds are dog lizard monkeys and most of all, My Friends

the magic you invite, and the mysteries you don't

the strangeness that unbidden comes, twisting sights and bending sounds, making voices from rain and visions from dream. you want to believe in secret orders for the likes of us; you want to believe there is a place for us, however hidden, in this world built for you, built up through our absence, our destruction, and in all the bricks beneath your feet there are mystics still screaming. you imagine the strangeness might be invited, entreated, bartered with, even befriended, because you will not face the will-less strangeness that acts through you, the violence of which you remain a part. there are no schools for us, no orders for us, and all the traditions of our ancestors have been crushed to dust, and all the shards churned into palatable tales: friendly witches who enact your normalcy as you turn a thousand-year knife, the act so banal, so timeless, that you have forgotten it entirely, and the blood you spill never enters your mind.

Show thread

spider spider, weaving webs, threads of dread, devouring flies cowering in the bonds that only bind more and more with all your will to live. survival dooms itself as predator looms, all eyes peering, leering, jeering gleefully.

shadow shadow, loves to lurk, watching with lidless eyes, eyeless sockets, fleshless frame free of material firmament, animated by fear itself. terror tickles you, trickling from the dreams of sullen sullied survivors. haunt no more, shadow shadow, shade shivering, quivering just out of sight.

Show thread

if you have particularly good night vision and the lighting is dim but not pitch black and I have just been particularly exerting myself, you just might be able to see my umbral circulatory system pulse

plunging my fingers, then my hands, then my arms and finally my whole torso into the damp earth and taking root

@sableye wait... are you the sombitch responsible for all my gotdam joint pain?

*himbo voice* I’m just like this kind of a kobold that says kobold communism in rad 90s font. just my take.

time to introduce some novel digrams to the goblin ebooks. godawful ripsnorter. quiescent solilouquies. tittylicious draculas

Show more
π”Šπ”¬π”Ÿπ”©π”¦π”« β„­π”žπ”ͺ𝔭

A posting sanctuary for goblins of all kinds to cause mischief and scurry about.